Fall Sale · 50% off · Free shipping to the United Kingdom
He's six. He doesn't understand bad knees, or a back that locks up for three days. All he knows is Grandpa never comes over anymore. This is what I finally had to admit, and the one change that got me back in his life.
Dave Mercer, 65 · Retired carpenter · As told to The Active Years
Updated 21 October 20265 min read
Last month my daughter Jenny called me after dinner. She'd just put my grandson Owen to bed, and he'd asked her something she didn't know how to answer.
She didn't try to soften it. She just told me what he'd said, word for word.
"Mum, does Grandpa not like me?"
I sat there with the phone against my ear and didn't say anything for a long time.
That destroyed me.
Because the truth was worse than that.
The truth
Not because I didn't want to see him. Because every time I did, I let him down.
He wants me to kick a ball around.
I can't.
He wants me to race him to the letterbox.
I can't.
He wants me to push him on the swings at the park.
Not without my back locking up for three days.
So I stopped going.
Watching his face drop every time I said "Grandpa can't right now, buddy"... that was worse than not being there at all. At least if I wasn't there, he could imagine I was busy.
If I showed up and sat in a chair all afternoon, he'd learn something else. That Grandpa's the guy who doesn't play. Grandpa's the guy who just watches.
"I refused to be that guy. But I was turning into him."
Jenny never said it out loud. But I could see it in her face every time I left early or had an excuse ready. She was giving up on me.
And Owen? He stopped asking.
That's when I knew I'd really messed up. Because six-year-olds don't stop asking you to play unless they've learned you're going to say no.
I'd taught my own grandson to expect to be let down.
Then the invitation came
Not because I didn't want to. Because I knew exactly how it would go.
I'd show up. Find a chair in the corner. Watch every other dad and grandpa run around with the kids. Owen would ask me to play once. Maybe twice. Then he'd stop asking, like he always does.
Every kids' party I'd been to had two kinds of grandpa. I knew which one I was.
Grandpa #1
Sits in the corner chair
Knees ache crossing the garden. Back stiffens after 20 minutes on his feet. Waves from his seat and says he's fine.
Grandpa #2
Out on the grass
Throwing the ball. Chasing. Standing at the barbecue for two hours. Same age. A completely different afternoon.
Same age. Same bad knees, for all I knew. It's not genetics, and the second guy isn't tougher. I found out later what the real difference was, and it's so simple it's almost embarrassing. I'll get to it. But that night, all I knew was I'd been Grandpa #1 for two years.
So I had two choices. Fix this. Or admit I was done being the grandfather I wanted to be.
And I mean properly trying. If you've got a bad back, you'll recognise most of this list.
Everything I tried
Insoles
Felt good in the morning. Flat as a pancake by lunchtime.
Custom orthotics
Cost a fortune. They live in a drawer now.
Physio and the exercises
Weeks of appointments. Still couldn't bend down to pick Owen up.
Pain tablets
Barely touched them. I didn't want to be that guy either.
A pair of shoes my mate Jim told me about
Three days after they arrived, I was pushing Owen on the swings.
What Jim said
Jim's an old work mate. We were having a coffee and I was moaning about my back again. He'd had the same trouble for years, until his sister bought him a pair of orthopedic walking sneakers.
Then he said the thing that stuck with me.
"Your back isn't the problem, Dave. It's what you're standing on."
His point was simple. If your shoes are flat and soft with nothing holding your foot up, your feet roll in with every step. And everything above them has to make up for it.
Your feet roll in
No arch support, so your foot sinks a little with every step.
Your knees and hips follow
They twist and tip out of line to keep up. Thousands of times a day.
Your lower back carries all of it
That's the stiffness after 20 minutes. That's the back that locks up after the swings.
It made sense of something that had bugged me for years. Why the physio and the exercises only ever helped for a while. They were working on the top of the chain. Nobody ever looked at the bottom of it.
I didn't care if it sounded stupid. The party was ten days away.
They were 50% off, shipping was free, and there was a 30-day money-back guarantee. If they didn't work, I'd send them back and accept that this was just my life now. Nothing to lose but another birthday in the corner chair.
I ordered them that night.
Before the party
I wasn't going to waste those three days. I wore them everywhere.
Day 1
Round the house. To the shops. A walk round the block. They felt steady. Firm, but not stiff.
Day 2
My knees didn't hurt going up the front steps. I noticed because I was waiting for them to.
Day 3
My back felt... normal. I didn't trust it. I'd been let down too many times to get my hopes up.
This is one man's experience. Everyone's body is different and results vary.
Owen's birthday
"Grandpa! Come play basketball with me!"
I looked over at Jenny. She gave me that look. The "please don't break his heart again" look.
I took a breath.
And I said yes.
Basketball in the driveway for twenty minutes straight.
A race to the letterbox. He won. Obviously.
I pushed him on the swings until my arms got tired. My arms. Not my back.
When it was time for cake, he grabbed my hand and dragged me inside.
"Grandpa, you're sitting next to me."
I stayed for the whole party. Didn't leave early. Didn't go anywhere near the corner chair.
When I was leaving, Jenny walked me out to the car.
She didn't say anything. She just hugged me. Longer than she has in years.
And I knew what it meant. Thank you for showing up. Not just turning up and sitting there. Actually showing up.
Owen doesn't think I don't like him anymore. And I'm not sitting on the sidelines of his childhood.
All because I fixed the one thing I didn't think mattered. My shoes.
Turns out they mattered more than anything.
Update: six weeks on
One man's experience. Results vary.
The shoes Jim told me about
"The difference between being there, and being present."
I built decks for 40 years, not shoes. So here's what I noticed, in plain English:
It's built into the shoe, not a bit of foam you slip in. It holds my foot up so it stops rolling in. Feels the same at the end of a party as it did at the start.
Concrete driveways, hard floors, running after a six-year-old. The thick sole takes the hit so my knees and back don't have to. And it doesn't go flat.
Firm, steady and level, so I'm not wobbling about. Jenny says I stand taller. I'll take her word for it.
And no, they don't look like "old man shoes." People assume they're just a smart pair of sneakers. They come in a few colours, in standard and wide.
Available in 4 colours
Editor's note: When we checked on 21 October 2026, OrthoFit was still running its 50% off sale, with free shipping and a 30-day money-back guarantee. Sales like this don't tend to last, so if you're thinking about it, check the price while it's on.
5,124 verified reviews · Free shipping
Be honest with yourself. I wasn't, for two years. Tap the ones that fit:
Ticked two or more? You might not have a back problem at all. You might have a shoe problem, like I did. And that's a lot easier to fix than another year on the sidelines.
And if you're reading this because of your own dad: do what Jim's sister did. Don't wait for him to ask. He won't.
Ray T., 68
Had to stop reading at the bit about the six-year-old not asking anymore. That's my granddaughter. Ordered a pair this morning. I'll report back.
142Reply1d
Dave Mercer Author
Good on you, Ray. Wear them every day for the first week, not just for good. That's what made the difference for me.
Karen L.
I'm the Jenny in my family. Bought these for my dad after he skipped my son's school sports day "because of his back." Last weekend he was out in the garden with the kids for an hour. I cried a bit, not going to lie.
118Reply3d
Graham B., 72
Took about a week before I really noticed. Knees first, then the back eased off. I'm not running any races, but I walked my grandsons to the park and back on Sunday. Couldn't have done that a few months ago.
87Reply5d
Phil S., 70
Get the wide if your feet are wide like mine. Every so-called comfort shoe I've owned pinched by lunch. These don't.
54Reply1w
The one on the couch, watching through the window? Or the one out on the grass? The only difference between them was the shoes.
Christmas is 9 weeks away. Which grandpa will they get?
Less than a birthday present, and a fraction of what I paid for orthotics that now live in a drawer.
Prices in GBP · Shipping to United Kingdom
Safe, secure checkout
Ordering takes about two minutes:
30-Day Money-Back Guarantee
Wear them for 30 days. To the park, to the shops, to the next birthday party. If they don't make a difference, send them back for a refund. Like I said: worst case, you get your money back.
Your feet set the alignment for everything stacked on top of them, thousands of times a day. Supportive, cushioned shoes help reduce the impact and imbalance that can strain your knees, hips and lower back. They're not a replacement for medical care: if your pain is severe or keeps getting worse, please see your doctor.
An insole is a separate piece of foam inside a shoe that wasn't built for support, so it tends to squash down over the day. OrthoFit's arch support, cushioned heel and steady sole are built into the shoe itself, so they work together from the ground up.
Everyone's different. Some men feel it in their feet and knees within the first few days, like Dave did. For others it takes a couple of weeks. The trick is to wear them as your everyday shoes, not just for good, and give them the full 30 days. That's what the guarantee is for.
Our sizes are listed in US men's sizing, which runs one size bigger than yours. Just add one to your usual size: if you normally wear a 9, choose US 10. If your feet are on the wider side, or most shoes feel tight by the afternoon, choose Wide for extra room through the toes.
Yes. Tap any orange button on this page, pick your colour and size, and check out. The checkout is secure, shipping is free, and your pair comes straight to your door.
Check the size printed inside a pair he wears a lot. If his feet swell or his shoes feel tight later in the day, go Wide. And if they're not right, the 30-day money-back guarantee has you covered.
You're covered by the 30-day money-back guarantee. Wear them, walk in them, chase the grandkids in them. If you're not happy, send them back for a refund.
P.S. If you skipped to the end, here's the short of it. My six-year-old grandson asked if Grandpa didn't like him, because I'd spent two years making excuses for a back that wouldn't let me play. Insoles, orthotics, physio, tablets. None of it stuck. It was my shoes the whole time. Three days after switching, I was pushing him on the swings at his birthday party. They're 50% off right now, with free shipping and 30 days to send them back. You can't get those years back. Don't spend another one in the corner chair.
Don't Let Another Moment Pass You ByThis is an advertisement and not a news article, blog or consumer protection update. The story above is a dramatised account for illustrative purposes; names and details have been changed. Reader comments are shared for illustration. The content is general information only and is not medical advice. Individual results vary. If you have severe, persistent or worsening back or joint pain, see your doctor or a qualified health professional.
Your cart is empty
Orthopedic support for every step. Free shipping on every order.
Shop men's walking sneakers